Saturday, June 14, 2008

Introducing Miss Pouty Butt

I hate being disappointed. For me, getting my hopes let down means a few days of pouting (mostly internally), questioning the person who seemingly let me down, the justifications of the let down and just the overall situation as a whole. It also includes me not being as nice as I should be to the other person involved, meaning no enthusiasm for normal things and definitely no random kisses and hugs.

I guess I can just simply state that because of things that have happened in the past, I sometimes blow things out of proportion in my mind. And then can't function properly until I've allowed things to run their course, finally say my last (and maybe deal breaking piece) and then apologize for being a pouty, ugly bitch.

Today was a small family reunion at home, and because of legitimate reasons (i.e. class this morning and leaving at 5 to take his dad to a race for father's day) Justin ended up deciding not to come with me because of time contraints. Not because he didn't want to go, but because I'm pretty sure he just wanted me to be able to spend as much time with my family as i wanted to instead of having to leave early to have him back in time to leave for the race. Deep down I knew that this was what he was getting at, but I couldn't help but be a little sad that he wasn't going to be with me. And I held out with the pouty attitude right up until he left for class this morning, and even cried when he shut the door behind him. After a few minutes, I sent him a text of what I was really thinking, then clarified that it wasn't being said meanly or trying to guilt trip. And then I called three different times on my way home until he called me back in order to apologize. He laughed and said that it wasn't necessary but he appreciated it. The boy is too good to me :)

Anyway, we all have our quicks and faults and it's just a part of life. I'm just glad that mine are generally docile in nature and that it just takes a small amount of patience to get through my "spells." Anyone else have those little quirks about you that probably just won't ever change?

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